Farting around

Boobs!

Made you look!

It’s just a cheap trick to generate traffic, I’m afraid, but it  seemed to work for Tammy and for Katie.

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As penance, I offer you this. Seen on the back of a truck in Kalk Bay.

Tickling my funny bone

From IOL:

A Limpopo schoolteacher, who found another man in bed with his wife and
fired his gun at the lover, is facing a claim of more than R1 million in
damages.

Police Inspector Andrew Moshoana, 41, was shot through his neck as he was
running home. As a result of his injuries, the policeman can no longer use
his right arm and hand.

He is now blaming Andrew Mokoena, 38, for his ill fortune, stating that
Mokoena tried to take the law into his own hands.
Seeing as the law had Mr Mokoena’s wife in his hands at the time…

Overheard

In the spirit of Breda, Crystal and Tamara, I offer the following:

<Tanya> I’m no good at computer games!

<Youngest daugher> I have a game you’ll be good at!

<Tanya> What’s that?

<Youngest daughter> Come to my room and I will show you!

<me> Hey, I’m good at that game!

(cue the sound of embarrassed teenagers)

How to Sabrage

My father turned 70 a couple of weeks ago. This posting is late, because I have been busy. The crazy season is upon us.

We drink a lot of bubbly, and we’ve sabraged using anything from a sword to a kitchen spoon. It’s not difficult if you hit the bottle right (and yes, we are intimately aware of the other meaning of hitting the bottle. 14 Bottles of bubbly bit the dust on the day).

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Which leads us to… how not to sabrage.

Broke

But not in the financial sense.

Tanya’s folks are staying with us. This started a complicated game of chess where they sleep in the main bedroom and Tanya and I end up in the Rand-Lover.

In theory.

In practice, when Tanya tried to get into the Rand-Lover, she slipped, fell, broke her arm.

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So there I was, driving over Boyes Drive going bee-baa bee-baa to get to Constantia Mediclinic. Which is a private hospital where, in theory, things should go quickly.

We were there for almost three hours.

After sorting out the more important people in the queue (and let’s face it, kids with asthma are more important than adults with b0rken wrists), the doctor confirmed that it looked broken, had X-Rays taken, and eventually bandaged the whole mess up, sent us home, scheduled an appointment for this morning.

So now we find out whether they need to open this mess up, stick pins in, whatever.

And they refused to give her Pethadine. Tanya was so looking forward to the Pethadine… :-)

Update: so Tanya now has a bionic wrist. They operated, aligned everything, put a titanium plate in there to hold everything together.

Well, actually, they eventually operated. We were supposed to check in at 8. Ten past seven the nurse calls, tells me that the doctor will be there 9:30. Cool. We pitch at 9:30, nobody knows nothing. Nurse tells me that the doctor will be available Monday. Monday? With a broken wrist? Like hell. I make a bit of a fuss and they scramble the doctor. Doctor decides that this is serious enough to do something about, even though he’s not actually on duty. Schedules Tanya for surgery.

So later I phoned and spoke to the nurse, who told me Tanya’s staying overnight. Ten minutes later the doctor phoned, we sort of concluded that I could pick her up at 3. Went there at three, nurse says no, five. Make that five thirty.

Meanwhile we have a bunch of Tamsyn’s friends coming for a sleep-over. I’ve been relegated to the Rand-Lover, on my own this time. But first I have to fetch Tanya, take the kids to the Spur, and so forth, and so on.

Fun and games.

Update: This is what a bionic wrist looks like. The X-Ray on the right, that is (took me a while to realise that the view on the left is “before”).

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Note to self

If your wife says “I have the hiccups,  quick, someone, give me a fright”… DON’T.

Because she will spill red wine all over the couch, the cats, you, and herself, thereby upsetting the cats and ruining the couch and her clothes, and it will all be your fault.

At least it cured the hiccups.