Read The Whole Thing.

The Adaptive Curmudgeon, phoning home:


Mrs. Curmudgeon: “I’ve told you to switch to decaf.”

Me: “I HAVE! I’m in Starbucks, surrounded by hipster dipshits, and I’m drinking decaf!”

Mrs. Curmudgeon: “Oh my God! Are you OK?”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 and Part 6.